Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
