I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize