you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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