oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
