Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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