she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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