I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
