walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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