I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
