you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Operation Purity has been aborted
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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