i just wanna soil my oats bro
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
