would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
