So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
