i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
