Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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