too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
