and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
