I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Randomize
