I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
