He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
