her vagine was all disorganized.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
