everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
