I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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