fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
