dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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