I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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