So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
