all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
