You really coming over, don't trick.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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