I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize