Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
