I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
