just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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