His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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