I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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