but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize