I never want to see another naked old woman again.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
