what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
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