Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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