Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
