thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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