Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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