Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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