So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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