Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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