do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
