Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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