hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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