Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
