I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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