The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
