Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
