I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I understand Curling. That high.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize