Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
