Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
ttyl tear gas
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Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
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I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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