ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He better not be in your backpack
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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