hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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