Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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